German Birthdays

Germans take birthdays VERY seriously. Before we arrived, we read in a Culture Shock book that Germans throw their own birthday parties. We thought maybe that was an antiquated tradition, but felt some alarm when we realized that our first day of school was going to be Russ's birthday. Were we expected to bring cake and wine to school? We opted not to (in fairness, we were so busy and overwhelmed those first few weeks, that buying cake, transporting it on the bus to school, and serving it would have been waaay beyond us) and the school Sunshine Fund gave Russ the standard gift- wine (remember? In the playground!?) and chocolates. No one complained.

Alas, it's not an antiquated tradition. Birthdays are thriving here in eastern Germany. For my students' birthdays, their parents send in cakes (it's always plural here, even if it's just one cake), candies, juice boxes, and sometimes gifts for all the kids. (Teachers, shudder here. 16 birthdays, because each summer birthday kid picks a day during the school year when he's going to bring in the birthday celebration, endless pieces of bubble gum with tattoos and stickers inside, actual cake knives sent in backpacks, china plates I have to wash in the classroom sink.. you get the picture, right?) It's very important to have a birthday on an actual school day and children are disappointed when their birthdays fall on Saturdays. 

Adults are no different! Just last week, it was a colleague's birthday (she's Austrian and very strange. Not that her heritage is the reason she's strange. But.) and she left cakes and cookies on the teachers' room table with a note that said, and I am quoting, "It's my birthday! Enjoy the cakes and treats." I think it was her 48th birthday. She was a bit put out that there were also some leftover cakes from Explorers' Day on the table-it overshadowed her birthday baking. 

The Germans were horrified to hear that I didn't really do anything particularly special for my birthday, and that I didn't have cakes. I'm sure I'm being very rude to not throw myself a party but I just can't seem to bring myself to do that. Last night we went to a birthday party (thrown, of course, by the birthday woman) and it was a lovely time. Everyone brings a gift (I'm never sure what to get in these situations. I don't know these people very well so why am I bringing a gift? I usually go with chocolates or a bottle of wine. I observed last night that flowers were a popular item. Next time, flowers it is) and there is no singing to the birthday grownup but lots of kisses (both cheeks) and toasting (with wine, beer, champagne, and this yummy Mexican drink that starts with a C but I couldn't really understand as it was in German-Mexican-English). 

Direct quote from the birthday woman last night: "I am sorry I haven't called you back to plan the PTO thing. I have been so busy. It was my daughter's birthday and then mine, and I was really busy with all the planning for the parties, that I didn't have time. Now that my birthday is over I can focus on work."

Another funny piece of this is the translation of "It's my birthday" comes out to "I have birthday." Or "burtsday" since Germans can't say "th". So people are forever telling me, "My sister has burtsday tomorrow! Can I bring in cakes to our class too?" or "When does Fiona have burtsday? Are you coming to school that day?" and "I have burtsday tomorrow. Can I bring my dog to class also?" 

The thing is, Christmas was serious business too. But it ended. People have burtsdays every day of the year.