The teachings of a prophet named Joseph Smith...

are apparently alive and well here in Weimar, Germany. So when they rang the buzzer and I tried to speak to them over the intercom, I was delighted to tell them "Ich spreche kein Deutsch." Which is usually followed by a frustrated sigh by the German speaker, an apology from me, and a series of misunderstandings. I was thrilled that in this case, it would get those missionaries to go away. Nah. Not here! "No problem. I speak English," he told me. Wonderful. So I told him I'm new in town and when I am in the market to learn about the prophet, I'll be sure to give him a call. To borrow a phrase from Russ, "turns out" Germans and Americans have the same brands of telecommunication company and door-to-door religious zealots. I was hoping for the same brands of contact lens solution and hummus.