Setting the Date

As most of you know, I've been dying to set a date for Butterfly's birth since July. Now, I know it's a little "Hollywood' of me- after all, determining a baby's birth date is a luxury available to few. But, I do feel that after having one C-section, and the rash that wouldn't die, and doing all my prenatal care in German, I deserve a few little privileges. Like scheduling a repeat C-section. Now, the Germans, despite their love of all procedures and schedules, have been very resistant to the idea of this. I guess it's a cultural thing- where in the US, having a C-section after already having one is fairly standard, and any deviation is cause for great discussion, here it's the other way 'round. They keep assuring me it is my right to have another C-section (Germans love to talk about an individual's rights) but I don't HAVE to. Yes, indeed. I know. And guess what, dear readers- this may come as a shock- I'm a person who likes predictability, planning, and controlled environments. I'm practically made to have planned C-sections. I wasn't upset that I had to have a C-section last time, and I'm certainly not about to go asking for more variables this time (I think the language barrier and lack of paper clothes for exams is plenty, thankyouverymuch).

So at every appointment for the past 35 weeks, I've been asking if I can make an appointment to have my Kaiserschnitt. And each time, they tell me that I have tons of time, so much time. Finally, two weeks ago, I asked to make the appointment again and they agreed. So we made it with this Dr. Brenner who has been recommended to me by both a gynecologist and a midwife. High praise, I feel, if both ends of the spectrum like her. So I've been waiting, counting down the minutes, until I can meet the woman who will slice open my abdomen and remove Butterfly. See, here, it's not your regular doctor who does the surgery, no, no, it's just someone at the hospital. Well, a surgeon, not just anyone, but you know what I mean. I thought i was all set- Dr. Brenner, here I come. Let's make an appointment for early March that suits your timetable, and mine, and away we go. I asked a friend from school who is an excellent translator to come along and translate, because I figured we'd talk in depth about spinal anesthesia, pain relief, and the recovery procedure- all of which I'm medium with, but I like to make sure I've got it right. Hence the translator.

Ah, no, dear friends, the Germans had another plan in store for me. I met with a lovely doctor- NOT Dr. Brenner- who did an ultrasound (all looks good with Butterfly, thankfully) and took my medical history. Poor translator friend and Russ sat there, waiting for the big stuff. The doctor complimented my German, wondered why I had a translator- I explained that when it comes to talking about important medical decisions, I thought I should have someone to help. She smiled politely- I guess she knew that there were no big medical decisions to be happening today, but Russ, Petra, and I didn't know that- we sat waiting for the elusive Dr. Brenner to arrive. But it wasn't to be. Apparently, despite making an appointment with Dr. Brenner, on the specific day she works, I actually didn't have an appointment with Dr. Brenner- just with someone at the hospital. And there was NO discussion of anything super important. This kind and friendly doctor had a LOT of questions about what if I go into labor on my own, what do I want then? (Um, not to go into labor on my own? Is that an option?) Apparently her job was to give me more stressful things to think about. Job well done.

But we did get to schedule a date- and I tried, in vain, in my German and with the help of my (slightly bewildered) translator friend, to schedule an appointment WHENEVER with Dr. Brenner. No, no, that can't be done, they told me. I asked which doctor is the best at C-sections. Uh, Dr. Brenner. And the Head Doctor (who I can't see unless I am a privately insured patient which I am not). And, well, they're all good. Mmm-hmm. Can I make an appointment on a day Dr. Brenner is working? Umm... yes, I guess so- she works Wednesdays. Grand. Wednesday, March 3 then. (Which I like for other reasons, logistical reasons, having to do with the way Europeans write the date, 3/3, and the way we write the date, 3/3, and eliminating any medical record confusion). Poor translator friend Petra is a German, and can't understand our weird American obsession behind knowing WHO is wielding the knife and not wanting what they persist in calling a "normal" birth. I tried to explain that there are so many cultural differences here, and I'm working with what I know from Fiona's birth... but it's all a bit beyond her.

So now. Can we talk about the biggies- pain relief, the C-section procedures, etc? No, no, you'll do that on 2 March when you arrive for bloodwork. Mmmm-hhhhmmmm, and this is why I brought a translator today. But today's not the assigned day to talk about this stuff. And perhaps, if I'm lucky, 24 hours before the surgery I'll get a chance to meet the doctor who will do it. Perhaps not, they hastened to tell me, because that person might be busy. Or not working. Or in surgery. O-kay. And what time will the appointment be on March 3? (I actually had to go back upstairs for this question because as we were leaving, I realized I didn't know, and found it strange that they hadn't told me, I mean, it's Germany, and it's TIME). Oh, in the morning. A-ha. Like.... 6? 9? 11? Any idea? When pressed, she told me somewhere between 8-10. ABOUT. But again, we'll find out on March 2.

So, dear readers, despite a reputation for being planners, organized, and having great attention to detail, I'm finding that German OBs like to keep their patients in the dark as long as humanly possible. Another month, and I'll be full of answers. But as of today, Dr. Brenner, her colleagues, the anesthesiologist, and all things related to the Kaiserschnitt remain secret.

Roll on March 3, 2010!